I remember reading Keith Green's biography a few years ago. Melody Green prefaced the book with the verse "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." She was, of course, speaking of her late husband, who died young in a plane crash. It was after this that his ministry gained momentum.
I was reading this passage this morning, which is found in John 12:24-27, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him. Now My soul has become troubled' amd what shall I say, 'Father, save Me from this hour?' But for this purpose I came to this hour." It reminds me of Esther 4:13-16 "Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, 'Do not imagine that you in the king's palace can escape any more than all the Jews. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?' Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, 'Go, assemble all the Jews who are found is Susa, and fast for me; do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maidens also will fast in the same way. And thus I will go in to the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish.'" If I perish, I perish. What shall I say, Father, save Me from this hour? Esther and Christ were both speaking of their death. Both put aside their own safety for the sake of something bigger. Esther's story ends with her successfully saving her people from annihilation and did not have to have to die in order to do so - the Lord protected her. Christ's story ends happy, too, but He had to die in order to accomplish this happy ending. He, too, laid down his life to save His people from annihilation. As his own enemy, Caiaphas, stated, "...it is expedient for you that one man die for the people, and that the whole nation not perish." "Now he did not say this on his own initiative, but being high priest that year, he prophesied that Jesus was going to die for the nation..." John 11:50-51.
What does it mean to die to self? I believe this means different things to different people. For me it has meant to give up material possessions and learn to live on one salary in order to home-school my children. It has also meant giving up my desires for the sake of others. It has meant remaining in marriage when it would have been easier to just quit. It has meant punishing myself for the greater good of training up my children and giving up on activities that I really wanted to participate in in order to discipline them. It has meant giving up television shows that I wouldn't want my children exposed to. It means putting aside myself for the sake of others. It has meant working hard to keep the house as organized as possible so my husband can relax at home. It has meant giving up something that I really wanted to do, so my husband can do something he really wants to do. I unfortunately am not perfect in this area. I would love to leave you with the impression that I do this all day every day, but reality is - I do it far less often than I ought.
I noticed something in that passage that I have never seen before, "...unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone." As usual the paradox is hard to understand. Die in order to live or live and remain alone. Is it possible that all these things that we cling on to with white knuckles actually rob us of our life?
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You know, I guess we have to find the joy in serving others. I know for me that's hard especially when I'm functioning in selfish mode. But I know of people who just find so much joy in serving and doing things for others because that's what Christ did. Some of those people have been doing this most of their lives. You can just see the joy of Christ in their lives. It's people like you, others I know, characters of the Bible, and most importantly Christ who give me encouragement to do this. It's funny the desire burns so heavily on my heart, yet it's easy to give in to those material things or the unnecessary distractions in life. Thanks for your thoughts, it has truly made me think.
Well, what does it mean to die to self? I too have great struggles in this area. I suppose it means figuring out where the sin in our own lives is and making the changes that will bring us closer to Christ. I think it is a matter of looking, and I mean taking a hard look, at ourselves in the mirror and stepping out of our comfort zone to change. Change is one of the most frightening things we can do as humans, but especially as Christians. For to change indicates that we have realized we aren't perfect. Greater yet is the realization that we may have been wrong and that my friend can tarnish our oversized pride. I never knew how hard being a Christian was until I had to make life changing decisions in order to try and please the Lord. I fall short every time. But, here is the awesome part, God is judging us by our heart, our character, our faith, and by our choices to follow His Son. We are saved by Grace as they say, and Grace covers a multitude of sins. Realize that if your choices are focused on pleaseing the Lord first all else will fall into place. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
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